Fish Jokes
Fish Jokes
Fish Jokes, Fish Puns and Fish Humor
Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish.
Q: What kind of fish chase mice?
A: Catfish.
Q: What kind of guitar do fish play?
A: Bass.
Q: What do you get when you cross a banker with a hammerhead?
A: A Loan shark!
Q: Where does a fish keep his money?
A: In the River Bank!
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: Tentacles.
Q: What was the humpback’s favorite TV show?
A: Whale of fortune!
Q: Who keeps the ocean clean?
A: Mermaids!
Q: What do fish need to stay healthy?
A: Vitamin Sea.
Q: Where do fish sleep?
A: In water beds.
Q: What do you call a crayfish with a messy room?
A: A slobster!
Q: Why do oysters go to the gym?
A: It’s good for the mussel.
Q: What do you call a smelly fish?
A: A stink ray.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eye?
A: Fssshh!!!
Q: Which fish work in hospitals?
A: Sturgeons!
Q: What kind of food do they serve in saunas?
A: Steamed mussels.
Q: What do you call a fish that has two knees?
A: A tunee fish.
Q: What do British sea monsters eat?
A: Fish & ships.
Q: How did the guppies get to the hospital?
A: In a clambulance.
Q: Did you hear about the crab that went to the gym?
A: He pulled a muscle!
Q: What did the trout detective say?
A: There’s something fishy going on here.
Q: Why don’t fish do well on school tests?
A: Because they work below C-Level.
Q: What was the Russia Tsar’s favorite type of fish?
A: Tsardines!
Q: What is the most valuable type of fish?
A: A goldfish!
Q: What do sea monsters eat?
A: Fish and ships.
Q: What does the pope eat during lent?
A: Holy mackerel!
Q: What did the magician say to the fisherman?
A: Pick a cod, any cod!
Q: How do fish know their weight?
A: They have scales.
Q: Where do fish get all there funny fish jokes?
A: Thye get them at animalpuns.com!
Q: Why did the squid cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide.
Q: Why did the fish swim cross the pacfic ocean?
A: To get to the other tide.
Q: How did the mollusk get into college?
A: On a scallopship.
Q: What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A: A seahorse!
Q: Why are fish so well educated?
A: They swim in schools!
Q: If fish lived on land, which country would they live in?
A: Finland.
Q: Did you know that sharks can also squirt ink?
A: Just Squidding!
Q: What is the best way to get in touch with a fish?
A: Drop it a line!
Q: What do you call a fish in a tuxedo?
A: Very soFISHticated!
Q: Why did the fish go to Hollywood?
A: He wanted to be a starfish!
Q: What was the name of the fish that destroyed Japan?
A: Codzilla.
Q: Where do women fish keep their money?
A: In their octopurse.
Q: Who held the baby octopus for ransome?
A: Squidnappers!
Q: Where do teachers send fish who misbehave?
A: To the Offish!
Q: Where do bass wash up?
A: A river basin!
Q: How do you make an Octupus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles!
Q: Why don’t fish play tennis?
A: Because there afraid of the net.
Q: How do you keep a fish from smelling?
A: Plug it’s nose!
Q: What kind of fish do lion fish chase the most?
A: Zebra Fish!
Q: How did the seahorse move so quickly?
A: It scalloped!
Q: Where do you weigh whales?
A: At the whale-weigh station!
Q: What birthday party game do fish like to play?
A: Salmon Says.
Q: What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A: You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.
Q: What do you get if you cross a pastor with a guppie?
A: Monkfish!
Q: Why don’t fish like basketball?
A: Cause they’re afraid of the net!
Q: Why don’t lobsters ever pay retail?
A: Because they are Sale-fish.
Q: Have you ever heard of the gold fish that went bankrupt?
A: Now he’s a bronze fish!
Q: How does a policeofficer go fishing?
A: He catches one fish, then beats it until it tells him where the others are.
Q: How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
A: He prawned everything!
Q: What do you call an underwater social network?
A: Fishbook!
Q: What happens when you put nutella on salmon?
A: You get salmonella!
Q: Did you hear about the fight in the kitchen?
A: A fish got battered.
Q: How did the fish find the World Wide Web?
A: In a Net.
Q: What do you call a talking crustacean?
A: Holy Crab.
Q: How does an octopus go to war?
A: Well-armed!
Q: What is a trouts main job?
A: To keep his daughter off the pole.
Q: What does the pope eat during lent?
A: Holy mackerel!
Q: Why are gold fish orange?
A: The water makes them rusty!
Q: Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
A: To the prawn broker!
Q: Which day do fish hate?
A: Fry-day!
Q: What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
A: A fish tank!
Q: What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals?
A: Autotuna!
Q: What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
A: He got lockjaw!
Q: Whats the best way to catch a fish?
A: Have some one throw it at you.
Q: Where do fish wash?
A: In a river basin!
Q: What game do fish like playing the most?
A: Name that tuna!
Q: How do fish travel long distances?
A: They whale (hail) a cab.
Q: What did the fish say when he posted bail?
A: “I’m off the hook!”
Q: What do you call an underwater transformer?
A: Octopus Prime.
Q: What do naked fish play with?
A: Bare-a-cudas!
Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A: As far away as possible!!!
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